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| Okay, tuesday we had a bomb threat at school. The next day was normal... Then thursday we had no school due to snow, which was alright... And then, today, we had ANOTHER freaking bomb threat. I hate them! We have to evacuate the school and go all the way across town to the damned Expo Center...
And Aili's boyfriend thought the idea would be cool.
And it compelled me to write THIS. This tirade of ranting, no spacing, no paragraphs, no real care. RANT ALERT.
Amanda doesn't like bomb threats BECAUSE: We have to haul all our shit together in about two seconds, go outside in the fucking 20 degree weather and stand for almost ten or fifteen minutes (which feels like hours) waiting for a damn bus that you have to cram in to with probably three other people you don't know. You have people getting all up in your personal space, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Then, you have to ride like that down the street for twenty minutes, rocking and swaying next to people you don't know, and you feel like you're gonna fall out of the seat. THEn you actually get there, and you have to go and sit with your teacher in this shit smelling, dirty dirt hole of an expo center, everypone's pissed off... And you STILL have to do school work, and you have to learn and take quizzes and shit, and THEN you have to deal with the fact that you have almost NOTHING to eat for lunch, except for a frozen penut butter and jelly. The teachers are annoyed, frantic, and they jump on you for every little thing. (Plus, they can see you better in the expo center than they can anywhere else.) You can't get away with anything, they ALWAYS see you... You can't actually learn anything. (Which I think is a sin) You don't get anything done in classes, so then when you get back, you have to work twice as fast and twice as hard, so you get confused and it's harder to keep up, especially in harder classes. You have to get back on the busses when it's all said and done, too, and you have to ride all the way back to school. And by THAT point, you're tired, you smell, and you really just don't want to deal with anything anymore. Then the rest of your day is just pissy. It sucks. BOMBTHREATS SUCK. | | |
| WHERE'S THE KABOOM!?
THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN EARTH SHATTERING KABOOM!
<3 Marvin the Martian | | |
| Okay, so I've had a most interesting week... Alright, alright, so maybe I haven't. Who cares? School is boring, life is boring, and I REALLY want to fucking go out and do something crazy and wild, maybe even, you know, life threatening or illegal...!
But I can't.
Gods, I hate this town.... I can't wait until I have my own god damned car... My mom and I were looking at this Dodge Neon at a car lot in town, and OMFGBBQ I WANT IT!
I really... Really... REALLY want it. With it, I could go visit all the people I want to, and I could go wherever the HELL I want to WHENEVER I want to and mom couldn't say a damn thing about it.
...
Which would be AWESOME. Uugh, I think I'm just a bit annoyed, but hyper. Hyper. I'm kind of hyper.
I'm at Aili's, and her AIM isn't working on either computer... So I can't get on. -dies- I AM on Yahoo, though, so if you want to find me, then that's where you will, yo. -nodnod- And damn... Do I want some fucking chocolate. Graaahhh...
Ohwells.
-nuzzles the spayshal people, and they know who they are!- n.n | | |
| Sometimes I just want to stop thinking, acting, and doing... What good are all of these thoughts running through my head if they're just going to bring me down and make me cry? I know that if I ceased to think or act or do I wouldn't be me anymore, but... What's it really worth, being me? My own head knows my game better than I do, of course, so it always wins. I never win...
So in any given situation, I almost always see the downside. The bad parts. I take everything in a bad way, even if I never voice any of it. I see one thing, I think another, I speak one thing, I feel another, I act one way, I am another. It's just who I am... So, it's like I'm more playing a game with the world, while playing a game with myself.
And that doesn't work.
If I always make myself feel bad about things that I shouldn't, then maybe I should stop being me? Or maybe I should start being me? Hell, I don't even know who I am... I don't think anyone else does, either.
You all know what I want you to know. End of story. When I DO voice what I think, it's usually paraphrased and changed, just because I'm afraid of what my own thoughts and opinions will do to other people.
Is that silly of me? Am I more odd for it? It's like... people say they can read me like I book... But they only read what I want them to, even so. There's more to me than any person in this entire world knows, because I'm afraid of myself. So I put myself down. Everything I read makes me sad, really... all the things that people do (intentional or not) make me sad, or feel worthless, or something stupid of that nature. I just never say it. I'm always afraid to.
I'm not a pushover, but I'm too nice. Or am I really? If people could take a peek inside of my head at what I really think, I do suppose I'd have a lot less friends. The things I say are almost NEVER the first things I think. The first things I think are cold, mean, usually spiteful... but they get criscrossed in my head, and I change them. Would people think differently of me if I spoke my mind? If I showed them who I really am?
Probably... So I won't until the time comes. I don't know why I'm writing about this... I came here ready to blather insanely emo things sparked by something that has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but then this came out instead... Maybe the first real statement I've made all week aside from my "I love you"s and things...
-sigh-
Oh well... I'm glad I got that out of my system... What a bunch of blabbering, ne? D: I'm good at that. | | |
| Okay, so I've been working on my Xanga for about an hour now... and I kind of like the results. It's still got a lot of work to go, obviously, but it's progressing nicely... I'm thinking about making something nifty to fall from the top of the page, but I haven't figured out exactly what yet...
When I find out, I suppose anyone who cares enough to read here will be the first to find out.
-sigh-
I'm going to get grounded very soon for failing two of my classes... I know I failed them, but I haven't gotten my gradecard just yet, so my parents haven't yet gotten the pleasure of knowing my grades. (Whoopie...)
I'm such a slacker... I don't know why I always do this to myself... It's not that I just don't care about school... I just don't do anything. I take notes, I pay attention, I LEARN... I just hate homework, and never do any of it.
Oh well.
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